As the man walked past on the sidewalk, a single crow hopping around on a lawn nearby flew in to the air with a harsh caw. A block later, the same thing happened – another crow, another caw.
“Okay, he’s passed the second one and he’s still coming straight down the street. Two more and we’ll need to be ready for him,” a voice whispered several blocks away.
But the next time they heard anything, it was two caws, not one.
“Crud, he’s changed direction – let the beta group know he’s coming their way just in case they missed the signal. It’s a bit noisy over there.”
A minute or so later, there were three caws.
“Damn. He’s all over the place this morning. Why did he have to choose today to take the scenic route? All right, let everyone know we’re calling it off for this morning. We’ll try again tomorrow. Pack it up, folks!”
Oblivious to all of the goings-on around him, the object of their surveillance continued on his way to work, taking the so-called scenic route this morning just because he was bored with the direct route to work.
Later that morning, a small group met in an abandoned shed nearby.
“He changed up his routine this morning. We need to be ready for this sort of thing. Remember, we only have a small window of opportunity here.”
“I told you we should have done it yesterday,” grumbled one of those present.
“Yesterday we didn’t have some of the things we needed in place. You know that. Now come on, and let’s plan better for tomorrow. We’ll call in some reinforcements and get things set up along all the alternate routes. If all else fails, we can lure him down a route that we choose.”
“I don’t see why we can’t do it closer to his home or work. At least he’s a little more predictable there.”
“You know why. It’s too risky there. It has to be where we planned it to be. Now listen – I’ll call in those reinforcements for tomorrow morning and we’ll try this again. Now get out there and make sure all of you are ready. I don’t want any screw-ups tomorrow. Or else.”
There was a little general grumbling. “Don’t know who made you boss, anyway…”
“Whose idea was most of this? I think that’s enough reason. This meeting is adjourned.”
************************************
“Them? They are the reinforcements? Are you out of your ever-lovin’ mind? Not only are they as dumb as a rock, they’re greedy besides…”
“Shut up. They were already over there. Like you said, they’re not too bright. Just go with the flow, would you?”
*************************************
The man walked cheerfully down the sidewalk. There really did seem to be a lot of crows around lately. It was odd. And he hadn’t seen the squirrels he usually fed. Maybe the crows ran them off. As he passed the mouth of an alley, a huge flock of pigeons swooped down from across the street, right in his face. He ran into the alley to get away from them, arms flailing. Ducking behind a dumpster, he suddenly found himself being swarmed by small furry bodies. Half blinded by the pigeons, he thought at first he was being attacked by rats. Then he felt the bushy tails and realized that they were squirrels.
Squirrels! The little beggars ran all over him, tearing at his pockets and ripping his messenger bag away from him. With a chatter of triumph, one of them found his lunch and the treats he usually carried to feed the city’s wildlife and began eating greedily. Soon all of them, squirrels and pigeons alike, were fighting and running off with bits of his lunch and the popcorn and stale bread he carried. Very quickly, all that was left were inedible computer discs and some chewed up pens. Even his paperwork had been shredded. When the squirrels and pigeons realized that everything was gone, they began advancing on the stunned man with an intent look in their eyes.
He was trying desperately to climb to his feet before he was completely overwhelmed, so he could run away when yet another group arrived. A murder of crows swooped in all at once. He flinched and covered his head with his arms, but nothing seemed to be attacking him. He could feel the wings of the crows brushing him, but they seemed to be attacking the squirrels and pigeons instead. Cautiously he peeked out and saw an incredible sight. The crows were indeed doing battle with the pigeons and squirrels. They quickly routed them, too. Moments later, all that was left were the torn up remains of the man’s things and a few dozen crows, who were perching around the alley and staring at the man. Then, by ones and twos, they took off again, until only one crow was left. He flew to the dumpster beside the man, cawed once, bobbed his head and then flew off to join his brethren.
The man gathered up his things and ran the rest of the way to work. He took a taxi home, and drove his car for the rest of the week. During that time, he didn’t see a single pigeon or squirrel. He did, however, see a lot of crows, and began to toss them a treat here and there.
*************************************
“What was that business of turning on us? You traitors!”
“We didn’t like the idea from the get-go, but it’s not like we could warn him, now could we? You call the pigeons greedy, but if you had more sense than greed, you’d have known that you weren’t going to get treats by mugging him. Now he’s just going to run away from you. We, on the other hand, are the good guys. We are going to get all the treats now. We simply made the best of a bad situation. Oh, by the way, the city’s setting traps for the nuisance squirrels running amok around town now. Better look out!” The crow blew a raucous raspberry at the squirrel and flew away, laughing, leaving the squirrel chattering furiously behind him.
The man was driving home with his window down and heard the cawing and chattering. “I wonder what that was all about?” he said to himself, shuddered, and rolled up his window for the rest of the drive home.
-She Wolf (c)2007
